Fall: A Time of Reflection

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life

Is more than who we are

With the weather getting colder, I notice that I start to become more nostalgic. I look back to where I was in life and compare it to where I am now. It's a bittersweet feeling, as I imagine it often is for most.

Two years ago, around this time, I was just transferring to WOU as a Junior in the Art program. I was married. Excited for my new start as an art major at a new school. I had a husband who loved me and a dog that I adored. (Notice the wording of that previous sentence... if you read into it, it probably explains a bit of how I was back then.) I had a great life. A life that I'm sure some friends envied. I was only 23 years old, almost 24, and was married, lived in the hills of West Salem in a beautiful two story house. My husband and I would go on several mini-vacations through out the year and a big vacation during the summers. I had the life. The American dream for some. But alas, I was unhappy through it all. Why? Well, it's not something I feel the need to explain anymore. I'm not sure if I will ever fully understand it all myself.

Fast forward a year. I was 24, almost 25. I had separated from my husband in the Spring and was living with a friend. Over the summer the divorce was finalized. I had started dating a guy who I thought was great. The beginning of Fall term, my second year at WOU, was fast approaching. I was happier with my life. A fresh start I thought. A new beginning. Part way through Fall term the guy and I move in together. A different approach to exclusiveness for me, since marriage was the farthest thing from my mind. A taboo word for me even. We dated for 10 months, until the beginning of summer this year. Without going down a rabbit trail, we can just say he was not a good match for me.

Another new school year is approaching. I am still at WOU, still an art major. This time, however, I am going into this school year as a single woman. No attachments to any significant other. Not to mention I am also now living more on my own than I ever have before. It's a new feeling for me. Scares me, quite frankly. But it's also a good feeling. I am a serial monogamist. I go from one relationship to another with not much time in-between where I am actually single. No time to just be my own person. No chance to be my own person. Because I am a people pleaser when it comes to relationships. If there is a problem, I will change in order to fix it. Over the past few months I have realized this about myself and am in the process of actually standing up for myself and not being walked all over... but those of you who are similar probably can sympathize how difficult it is to change a part of your own personality, even if it is for the better.

Overall, I'm excited for this new school year. I am excited for what this new year will bring. I am terrified of being a responsible adult, but I think I'll be okay. I still have close friends and people who care about me.

But sometimes it's hard to be optimistic about certain life situations when all you truly want is to be accepted and loved by someone who you are also madly in love with. Is it really just a fairy tale? A hopeless romantic thought? Am I damned to repeat a cycle of "new beginnings" every Fall?

Theological Belligerence

The Christian minister who has ignited a media firestorm with his intention to commemorate the Sep. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks by burning copies of the Quran appeared on "Nightline" Tuesday (Sep. 7) to reassert his church's commitment to the plan.

Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Center, a small, evangelical church in Gainesville, Fla., said that he and his congregation will go forward with the proposed "International Burn a Koran Day" on Sep. 11, 2010, in spite of concerns from the government that the event could put troops in danger.

"It's something that we feel we need to do," Jones said. "It's a message that we feel we need to send."

The pastor stated that he and his congregation have received death threats and will be armed on the evening of the Quran burning. "We are definitely prepared to give our lives for this particular message and cause," he said.

Jones' plans have been met with harsh condemnation from U.S. government officials. General David Petraeus warned that the Taliban could use images of the church's Quran-burning rally to incite violence against U.S. troops in Afghanistan. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton echoed Petraeus' fears, adding that burning the Islamic holy book is a "disrespectful, disgraceful act."

"We understand that those concerns are valid," Jones said. "The question that we have is if we don't do it, when do we stop backing down?"

The Mindset of Incoming College Freshmen - Class of 2014

The mindset of incoming college freshmen changes every year... but here's a look at the graduating Class of 2014. Most born in 1992. I'm only 25. I know I'm young. But some things make me feel old. And this is one.

I personally ran into a "new Freshman" scenario earlier this summer. Upon getting into my car, she thought something was wrong... because I had to manually unlock the door. It's a basic car. No power windows/locks. Even after I explained, she still looked at me funny. And I'm not even that old! What the heck!

Click the link for the Mindset List for the Class of 2014:

http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2014.php

In the Mind of Mary - Please Wipe Your Feet

(Disclaimer: Some of this may sound conceited. I am just writing.)

* Compromise can't be all one-sided. If a man wants to be the proud possessor of the deep devotion and thrilling mystery that is me, he'll have to give a few inches too.

* I greatly admire honesty, but careless, thoughtless remarks can wound my unexpectedly vulnerable heart more than anyone can ever guess, because I keep the deepest hurt to myself, inside, where it won't show.

* If a man values my love, he'll never be careless of my feelings. For all my gentleness, my apparent poise and calm, sometimes when I am the most silent, the woman inside is screaming.

* As determinedly ruthless as I can be when I've really been hurt and feel compelled to teach the guilty a lesson they'll never forget, I can also be unbelievably loyal and fiercely protective of anyone who has ever been kind to me. I am a warm and loving friend, capable of intense devotion, who will still be there when the fair-weather friends have all flown the coop.

* I like to know things. A compulsion to probe the buried, the hidden and the mysterious, to ferret out secrets. "Curiousity" is too mild a word. Knowledge is power.

* I have a deep need to understand the world around me. I have high ideals and I have my eye on what's on the horizon. I look ahead, and at times can seem quite restless. I am proud of my knowledge and of my morals.

* I am a tolerant, adventurous, and curious person, and I want to see the best in people and in life.

* I can't deny that sometimes I still have yet to fully learn the lessons of freedom, optimism, daring and self-honesty.

Past and Future

I love looking through old photos. Sometimes you can ask family about those in picture, but sometimes it's also fun to stare into the frozen faces and wonder who they were, what were they thinking at that time, and (depending on how old the picture is) what they are up to now.

Old family pictures are what I love most. I have more somewhere, but for now here is what I have.

Arturo Quintanilla, Sr. - My Great Grandfather


Arturo Quintanilla, Jr. - My Grandfather (My Mother's Father)
I call this his "Ricky Ricardo" picture.

My Grandfather (second in from the right)
with his siblings, two are missing in this picture.

My Great Uncle Walter (17 yrs old) and My Grandmother Mary (12 yrs old) (My Mother's Uncle and Mother)

Grandma Mary is who I was named after. My first and middle name are hers.

Great Uncle Walt

Great Uncle Walter Lyon Chiene

Das kleine Mädchen

Ein kleines Mädchen is weinend.
sie schreit: "ich bin allein"
Schwach und müde, sie stolpert weiter.
Ein klägliches Dasein.

Spring & Summer Events in the Willamette Valley

Eugene Saturday Market in Eugene, OR
The oldest weekly open air crafts festival in the U.S. features handcrafted goods, food and music, rain or shine at 8th and Oak. 10am - 5pm
* Date: April 3, 2010 to November 13, 2010

McMenamins UFO Festival in McMinnville, OR
Come out for this festival that attracts over 5,000 visitors every year – enjoy an alien costume parade, live music by Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside, an alien costume ball and much more...
* Date: May 14, 2010 to May 15, 2010

Eugene Scottish Festival in Eugene, OR
Enjoy bagpipes, harps & championship fiddling. County dancers, clans, Scottish food & wares. Museum and gifts: 3060 River Rd 10am - 5pm.
* Date: May 15, 2010

Strawberry Festival in Lebanon, OR
Jr and Grand parades, open air country fair, world's largest strawberry shortcake.
* Date: June 3, 2010 to June 6, 2010

Wilsonville Festival of Arts in Wilsonville, OR
Celebrates visual, literary & performing arts. Colorful parade kick-off Saturday morning - free - with something for the whole family.
* Date: June 5, 2010 to June 6, 2010

2nd Annual West Bank Solstice Festival in Independence, OR
Local Oregonian artists and their works. Wine, music, food, summer begins, held in a beautiful park. What more could you ask for?
* Date: June 19, 2010

Salem World Beat Festival in Salem, OR
Travel the world at Riverfront Park in Salem. Dine, shop & watch breathtaking cultural performances in each of five World Villages. Join International folk dances, games & workshops at Oregon's premier international event. More than 125 performances, demonstrations and workshops in nine performance venues throughout the weekend, including costumed processions and Dragon Boat Races!
* Date: June 26, 2010 to June 27, 2010

4th of July Independence Days in Independence & Monmouth, OR (Inde-mouth)
Celebrate the 4th in Independence & Monmouth. Fireworks on 2 nights. Big parade July 4th. Vendors, family fun. $1 contribution suggested for fireworks.
* Date: July 2, 2010 to July 4, 2010

61st Annual Salem Art Fair & Festival in Salem, OR
200 artists from across the US and Canada. Live music and performances on two stages. Hands-on activities for kids, and much more!
* Date: July 16, 2010 to July 18, 2010

da Vinci Days Festival in Corvallis, OR
A three-day sensory experience inspired by Leonardo da Vinci, celebrating art, science, and technology. Where else can you find...art that makes you think, mini race cars built by school kids, a juggling physics lesson, a race of human powered all terrain vehicles, Grammy Award winning music, street performers, a community art project and sidewalk chalk art, food, beer, and wine, and the latest research in wave energy and other scientific breakthroughs… all in one place?
* Date: July 16, 2010 to July 18, 2010

Dallas Summerfest in Dallas, OR
A 4-day event that has something for everyone! The highlight is our parade on Saturday at 11AM. Food, Retail, Commercial & Art Booths Galore. Live Entertainment, Hydro Cart Races, Book Sale, Car Show, Art Show, Garden Tour.
* Date: July 29, 2010 to August 1, 2010

Polk County Fair in Rickreall, OR
Good old fashion County Fair, lots of family fun and entertainment. Beautiful Baby contest, tractor pulls, Youth Rodeo 4-H/FFA exhibits. Hours: Thurs. - Sat. 10:00am - 10:00pm, Sun. 10:00am - 6:00pm.
* Date: August 12, 2010 to August 15, 2010

Oregon State Fair in Salem, OR
Free entertainment, concerts and shows, carnival and rides, food and drinks, familyville, animal exhibits, Art exhibit, Artisans' Village, sports and recreation, science and technology, Oregon wine celebration, horse show events, rodeo finals and lots more.
* Date: August 27, 2010 to August 29, 2010