Sex Explained Graphically

Hilarious post from Frucomerci.com
Click on the picture to see the rest of them!

Community Service Has Come So Far

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

Cows and the Government

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders

Useless Facts of the Day

I read awhile back that women with short hair have less of a chance of being raped than women with long hair...... SO CHOP THOSE HAIR-DOS LADIES!

Here are some other totally random and useless facts:

• More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
  (watch out for those crazy donkeys, especially the long haired ones...)
  
  
• More than 2,500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products
  (all the more reason for the Leftorium)
  
  
• The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.
  (high in fiber you know... )
  
  
• You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
  (in other words... you are NOT special)
  
  
• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
  (easiest exercise program ever! may cause brain damage, but it's ok, you won't remember)
  
  
• It only takes 7 pounds of pressure to rip your ear off.
  (so really... Van Gogh was a pansy because he had to use a knife)
  
  
• You use more calories eating celery than there are in the celery itself.
  (see... I told you... eating IS a sport)
  
  
• On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds BigMac bun.
  (that means it's healthy... right?)
  
  
• Odds of being killed by falling out of bed - 1 in 2 million.
  (I guess I'm a rare exception)
  
  
• Odds of being killed in a plane crash -1 in 25 million.
  (although, if a donkey is on the plane, the odds greatly change)
  
  
• The Apollo 11 only had 20 seconds of fuel when it landed.
  (they were screwed from the beginning)
  
  
• Airbags explode at 200 miles (322 km) per hour.
  (if the impact don't kill you, the object meant to save you will)
  
  
• The average human produces 25,000 quarts of spit in a lifetime, enough to fill two swimming pools.
  (Mmmm... nothing like a spit filled pool. Now just add urine for the full effect of being in a public pool)
  
  
• Your brain weighs around 3 pounds. All but ten ounces is water.
  (you're not as smart as you think you is...)
  
  
• A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds.
  (and a puppy a murdered every 5 seconds for said can being opened)
  
  
• If you gave each human on earth an equal portion of dry land, including the uninhabitable areas, everyone would get roughly 100 square feet (30.4 m).
  (don't you feel special now?)
  
  
• Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza everyday.
  (hence the majority of us are disgustingly obese and just reply with, "please sir, can i have some more?")
  
  
• More Monopoly money is printed in a year than real money throughout the world.
  (no wonder the economy is in the shitter)
  
  
• If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
  (time for mass ethnic cleansing! wait... did i say that out loud? my bad...)
  
  
• The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
  (and according to Freud you probably want to have sex with your parents)
  
  
• The average person laughs 15 times a day.
  (poor emo kids and there lack of humor)
  
  
• It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.
  (we should be due, right? meh... peace is for pansies...)