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I have an anger management problem, this manifests as snapping at people around me, not handling criticism very well, and just being unpleasant to be around at certain times. To be honest some part of me still tells myself that these issues are caused by the idiots around me, yet I should know that my emotions are my responsibility and whether I choose to show them is also my choice; how do I prevent what I can't control, sometimes what I can't see, when it happens?
It bothers me that I rarely see how aggrivated I get until later -if at all- and in the rare times I am aware of how I'm acting, I usually describe it as watching from a 3rd person perspective. I know that I'm yelling, I know I'm arguing over something stupid or blowing it out of proportion, but I can't make myself stop. I feel justified in some way; I'd been wronged and needed justice.
My relationship can be stressful, because I'm almost always irritated about something, or wake up angry/annoyed. And my S.O. can only be so understanding, after putting up with me for close to 4 years now. Not to say that I don't put up with quirks in their behavior as well, but I'm obviously more explosive.
When I get like this, nothing calms me down, save for hitting something like a wall (I need to buy a punching bag). I have a past history of cutting myself as a bad coping mechanism, I don't anymore, but I do think about it.
Know that if it were up to me I'd show no emotion when I get irritated, but I know this is not a real solution, because I'd still get irritated by what people do.
How do you see your anger?
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